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DO'S AND DON'T'S OF GIVING ADVICE TO ANYONE

We find ourselves in certain situations when we are in power of giving advice. People have questions, people have doubts, people behave differently but it's our way of responding that matters. While giving advice keep following simple rules in mind:

Do's:

Be gentle, show kindness and compassion.
Try to remember the teachings of Quran and Sunnah.
Remember that Islam is a religion of forgiveness and mercy.
Try to visualize the situation as if it was yours.
Try to find help for them even if means more than just words.

Dont's:

Never judge anyone.
Do not ridicule or mock them.
Do not condemn them harshly.
Never put them off and away from Islam.
Never say Allah won't forgive them.
Don't say there is no help for them.
Do not curse or abuse them.
They are putting their heart off in front of you don't use their sins and mistakes against them.

They are confused and in pain, they need guidance, not rebuke.

Most of the people sometimes react harshly towards other peoples problems, this may be because we have a very rosy view of Muslim behaviors and relationships. We like to think that being a Muslim one must be perfect and should never slip and when we hear anything about anyone we become shocked. instead of finding a solution to their problems, we mock and judge them.

It must be noted and one must always remember that human beings are not perfect and tend to make mistakes. people do commit sins. people do foolish things and act badly sometimes. they hurt one another. all this is part of human life and at some point in life everyone is faced with difficult situations according to the level of their endurance. When people are faced with such situation they want to go to someone/someplace where they find help, advice, and guidance. Indeed the ultimate help comes from Allah Subhana-wa-taala, but He can make you the way of that help to reach the person in distress. Instead of despising people in their tuff times, try to help them genuinely.

When the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was preaching in Makkah, he did not stand up and say, "You people are disgusting, your lives are sinful, you make me sick." No. He called them to the truth.

'Umar ibn Al-Khattab (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "If you see that one of you has slipped, correct him, pray for him and do not help Shaytan against him (by insulting him)."

We do not have to approve of the acts that other people do to be able to give kind and helpful advice.

Allah the Almighty says, “Make allowances for people, command what is right, and turn away from the ignorant.” (7:199)

Let's also look to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) as our example. Allah said to him in the Quran, 3:159:

"So by mercy from Allah , [O Muúammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah . Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]."

One time a man entered into the Prophet Muhammed’s mosque as the sahaba and the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) were assembled after prayer. The man walked into the midst of the companions and in front of the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) he began to relieve himself.

The companions rose up in anger and were about to beat him for his vulgarity. Immediately the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) called out to his companions to settle down and let the man finish urinating. When he had finished, Muhammad (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) called him over and said:

“These mosques are not suitable places for urine and filth, but are only for worshipping Allah, remembrance of Allah, prayer and recitation of the Quran. Do not do this again.”

Then the Messenger of Allah, Muhammad (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) gave orders to one of his companions to bring a bucket and pour water over it.

Upon witnessing this, the man supplicated the Al Mighty Allah, “O Allah! Have mercy only on me and Muhammad, O Allah! Forgive only me and Muhammad.”

The Prophet Muhammad (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) smiled and corrected the man, “Do not confine the limitless! You have constricted the vastness (of Allah’s Mercy) into narrowness.”

The bedouin entered the mosque with animosity and hatred. Later he would declare that before this incident, he hated none greater than the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam). After the encounter, he loved none more than the Prophet (sala Allahu ‘alihi wasSalaam) .

Why? Because the Prophet (pbuh) spoke to him with gentleness and compassion. He did not say to the man, "You are disgusting! What's the matter with you? Are you stupid?" No. He spoke to the man kindly, and in doing so he made a new ally, as the man was quite grateful to him for teaching him.

May Allah help us to be helpful.

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