MARRYING SOMEONE WHO IS NOT CHASTE

All praise be to Allaah.

If a young man wishes to marry then he must look for a chaste and pious woman to be his wife considering he himself has kept his faith clean of all evil. For a man, it is not permissible to marry a woman who is not chaste. She must repent before entering the wedlock. Same applies to men. A woman must not marry a man who is not careful with his aakhirah unless he has repented sincerely.

If a man sees that she has repented and regrets what she did, and that she is serious about keeping away from non-mahram men and avoiding being alone with them, then it is permissible for him to marry her.

Our advice for all people who are thinking of getting married must look for a righteous and chaste spouse for a righteous spouse will bring you happiness in this world and make your aakhira easy too. It is because your spouse will be the parent to your children and will be the one to guard your honor and wealth, and in that way there will be the love, compassion and tranquility that form the basis of marital happiness. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy”

[al-Room 30:21] The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Women are married for four reasons: wealth, beauty, lineage and religious commitment. Choose the one who is religiously-committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3/242; Muslim, 2/1086.

According to another hadeeth: “This world is temporary pleasures and the best of the temporary pleasures of this world is a righteous wife.” Narrated by Muslim, 2668.

Following things must be taken care of as a genuine Muslim and hope that Allaah will benefit you thereby:

1. Lower your gaze. Do not look at haraam things that Allah has forbidden.

2. Keep yourself busy with righteous deeds like reciting Quran and understanding it. Know more about hadith and other scriptures.

3. Do not interact too much with opposite sex. Beware of being alone with non-mahram.

4. Keep yourself surrounded by righteous people who help you with religious matters.

5. Avoid listening to music and watching movies. Cut out all means that lead to zina.

6. Strive to offer prayers regularly with the Muslims, and strive to observe all the essential parts of prayer with proper focus and humility, and having wudoo’, for it keeps one away from evil actions, and those who observe regular prayer are the ones who will succeed. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Successful indeed are the believers.

Those who offer their Salaah (prayers) with all solemnity and full submissiveness” [al-Mu’minoon 23:1]

May Allaah help us and you to do all that is good, and may He make things easy for you.